China Blog 2: Glorious Bathrooms and the Humble Administrator's Garden

As mentioned yesterday, briefly, there are horrible bathrooms in China, and palatially wonderful ones. The irony comes in where each are located.

In what was sure to be confused for a fetish involving taking pictures of bathrooms and the people therein (see Perverts, Japan) yours truly took the initiative to actually snap shots of a glorious bathroom at the Humble Administrators Garden in Shuzou, which is outside of Shanghai a bit. The garden itself was magnificent (some pics below), but what I want to focus on here is the juxtaposition of bathroom culture between the US and China when it comes to restaurants and landmarks.

For example - think of your local Taco Bell. Odds are the bathroom is pretty clean, as a clean bathroom indicates a clean restaurant. The two are entwined - the bathroom is a representation of the whole. Now think of your local landmark. Badly lit, awfully smelly, filthy, understocked and full of graffiti and most likely hobos having sexual relations through various holes in the toilet partitions. US public facilities at landmarks are beyond repulsive. NOT SO in China!

As you can see from the pics above, the bathrooms in EVERY damn landmark, public park, museum, etc., was incredible. Crafted from marble with a bathroom attendant, abundant toilet paper, clean as a brand new set of anal beads and air conditioned. AIR CONDITIONED! When is the last time you went into the shitter at the Grand Canyon and it was air conditioned? Never, that's when.

I would actually forgo my daily porcelin prayers just to wait until I got to one of these poo palaces. And some of them WERE actual palaces! At the hot springs outside of Xi'An I got to drop a load where the former Emperor of China did his business. They even had a sign that said so. And a fishtank. Yes, a 6 ft long fishtank. Boy were those fish surprised when I deposited my own mud guppy in there. They made fast friends though.

OK, I promise this is the last feces related post in regards to China, but it followed suit after yesterday's post. Moral: If you have to poo in China, head to your local historic monument.

(pic'd - not my girlfriend. ..which I figured out two ass slaps and three make out sessions later. They all look alike!)